Therapy
by nike75
Summary: Jasmin's friends know that she lied about the online sex tape and turned their back on her. Kurt is gone and Dominik saved her when she was assaulted by two men. The story starts around one week after the assault and unlike in the show it doesn't get ignored. Because attempted rape is NEVER a lesson to be learned! Pairing: Anni/Jasmin Translation by Lillian - thank you SO much!
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

The staircase was wrapped in semi-darkness. Jasmin stood outside the apartment's door for a moment. She knew there was a wall of silence expecting her inside. She lowered the hand holding the key. Maybe she'd better stay at the townhouse guestroom, as she had the night all her friends had learned about her lies. But Jo had invited his golf partners for dinner that night and Jasmin didn't want to disturb them. She'd just go stir-crazy there anyway. At least she wasn't alone here at the apartment, even if her roommates punished her with disregard. Quietly she turned the key and opened the door. Nele and Anni were standing at the stove cooking, their backs turned at the door. They hadn't noticed Jasmin.

"...would like to know if the story of her abuse was just to feed the press. I simply can't imagine that. You don't make up that sort of thing."

"Yes, one also doesn't upload a sex video to the internet to play the victim afterwards.  
Come on, forget it, I have no idea what's going on in her mind."

"Well, but honestley, there's this foundation..."

"Foundation, pshaw" Anni said with a dismissive handwave. She turned to Nele and asked provocatively: "Have you ever seen her do anything for this foundation?"

Nele thought about it for a moment.

"Nope, you're right there." Anni shrugged her shoulders. "But still, don't you want to know if she just made it up?"

From behind, with a barely controlled voice, Jasmin asked: "What exactly do you want to know, Nele?"

The two women turned around. Jasmin continued, still leaning at the door: "What it was like when my adoptive father came into my bed the first time on my 14th birthday? Or whether it hurt when he raped me when I was 16? Or what his hands felt like when..."

"Jasmin!", Anni interrupted her vigorously. "Stop it and leave Nele alone!"

For a moment there was a tense silence in the room before Jasmin nodded briefly and went to her room.

"Have fun gossiping!"

With a click her door closed.

Nele and Anni looked at each other. Horror was written in their faces.

"Shit."  
"Fuck!"

Nele took a step towards Jasmin's room but Anni held her back.

"Leave it!"

"Anni, I just want to apologize."

"No!"

Nele gave Anni a quizzical look.

"Come on, Nele, do you really think she wants to see anybody right now? And what are you gonna say? 'We're sorry we don't believe you but you let yourself in for this with all your lying'? That sucks."

"So what are we gonna do now?"

Just then they heard the key turning in the lock of the apartment's door and John and Pia came in.

"Hey girls, dinner ready?"

"NO." it sounded with one voice.

Dumbfounded Pia looked at them, arms akimbo.

"Okay, what is it this time?"

Anni walked up to her and asked:

"Do you have a moment?"

"Sure."

Anni pulled Pia over to her room by her arm. With a look over her shoulder she called:

"Sorry John, I have to borrow your better half for a moment."

Queryingly John looked from one to the other. But as Nele opened her mouth he raised his hands.

"Thanks, I don't even want to know. I have enough trouble with my family."

* * *

In her room, Anni turned to Pia and asked bluntly:

"What do you know about Jasmin's abuse?"

Pia gaver her a puzzled look.

"It's about Jasmin? I thought no one's talking to her?"

"Pia! My question!"

But Pia just shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know the details. That was all before I moved to Berlin."

"Shit."

Pia placed her hand on Anni's shoulder. "Anni, what happened? This subject is ancient."

Anni turned away and ran her fingers through her hair.

"Man, Nele and I were talking about Jasmin and her lies, and how the abuse story fits into the picture all too well, and suddenly she stood right behind us."

"Oh no."

"Oh yes. She threw some "little details" in our faces and withdrew to her room."

"Oh Sweetie, come here." Pia held Anni in her arms.

"What do we do now?", Anni asked softly.

Pia thought hard, then she nodded.

"Dominik. We call Dominik. He knows the whole story, they were together forever."

"Okay."

Pia looked at Anni queringly.

"Shall I?"

But Anni shook her head and pulled her phone out of her pocket as Pia left the room.

* * *

She searched the contacts for Dominik and hit the dial button. Dominik picked up after the second ring.

_"Hey Anni. What's up?"_

"Hey Nik. Say, do you have some time to come to our place?"

_"What's going on?"_

She was silent for a moment and then softly said:

"I think Jasmin needs you."

_"Has anything happened? Did those guys assault her again?"_

There was panic in Dominik's voice now, and totally aghast Anni asked:

"Assaulted? What guys? Dominik?"

But Dominik only said quickly:

_"Forget it, Anni. I'll be right there."_

Anni nearly exploded when she heard this.

"Forget it? Are you out of your.." But Dominik had already hung up. "What the f...?"

Frustrated she tossed her phone on the bed and braced herself against the wall.

"Man, does everything have to be a drama with this woman?"

Anni took a deep breath. Dominik's words were spinning around in her head and the images joining them made Anni dizzy. She felt like she could barely breathe.  
'It couldn't have been what it sounded like just now.', she thought. 'Come on, she wouldn't have passed on the opportunity for us to take pity on her."  
But as much as she tried to convince herself, she still felt uneasy.

The doorbell rang.

She lifted her head and went back into the living room. John had let Dominik in. The two young men greeted each other with a brief hug.

"Props to you. That was record time.", Anni said from the background and added: "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

Taken aback by her curt tone the others looked at her, but Dominik just gave her a quick nod and followed Anni to her room.

* * *

"What happened?"  
"What did you mean with guys assaulting Jasmin?", the both asked simultanously when Anni had closed the door.

"You first.", Anni nodded at Dominik. He dropped his gaze briefly before he lifted his head again and looked Anni right in the eye.

"Last week, when Jasmin was staying in my father's guest room, two guys assaulted her at the subway station. Apparently they wanted to re-enact the sex video with Jasmin in the lead."

Dominik's voice sounded soft and serious. Anni sat down on the bed and closed her eyes. The feeling of dizziness returned. As he continued, his voice started to tremble a little and he started pacing around the room.

"She fought back but there were two of them, and one of them had grabbed her from behind. If I hadn't come by..."

Dominik didn't go on and turned away. Anni had covered her face in her hands and tried to breathe deeply. For a minute that felt like an eternity a leaden silence fell over the room.

Dominik looked out the window but all he saw was the image of Jasmin desperately struggling agains the guy's arms clutching her from behind in a perverted copy of an embrace. Jolting him out of his thoughts Anni asked:

"Did you call the cops?"

Dominik shook his head.

"She didn't want the press to get wind of it."

Anni flared up. Suddenly she felt raging fury inside her and somehow it felt best to direct it at Dominik and Jasmin.

"So you're saying there are two guys walking around out there who could assault someone else any time? Are you out of your minds? What do you want? A second round, or someone else going through the same thing?"

Furiously she tossed her pillows against the wall. Dominik let her rage for a moment. He knew exactly how she felt. Then he replied quietly:

"Anni, she was totally run down. And believe me, you can't force her. I've been there. If you pressure her now it will only end in disaster."

Anni took a deep breath. His answer was like a bucket of cold water, and suddenly she remembered why Dominik came over in the first place. Slowly she said:

"You mean her abuse."

Dominik nodded and Anni gulped.

"And that's the reason I called you."

He just looked at her queringly. Ashamedly she looked down and Domink had to listen closely to make out her words.

"I guess Nele and I inadvertently reminded her of it, and together with what you just told me..."

Dominik nodded understandingly.

"She locked herself in, right?

Anni shook her head but then shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. She went to her room."

"Okay." Dominik turned around and pondered his next steps. "Listen, I'll look in on her but we're gonna need some time. Do you think you could leave us alone?"

Anni got up. For a brief moment it gave her a sting that Domink apparently knew exactly how to deal with the situation while she was totally overstrained with it.

"Sure, no problem. I'll get the others out of here."

Both of them walked to the door. Just before Dominik opened it, Anni grasped his arm.

"Nik?" He turned around again. Nervously she twisted her fingers and looked to the side. "We didn't want this. It's just that she's so..."

"Complicated? Frustrating?" Dominik smiled faintly. "I know. Don't worry, Anni. It's not your fault." He hesitated before he went on. "But do me a favor and don't tell anyone what happened last week, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks for telling me."

Dominik's smile turned into a grin. He tapped her nose and got a crooked smile out of her.

"Shall I tell you the scecret why I trust you with all this?"

"Because I have such a sympathetic nature?", Anni asked with a self-mocking undertone.

"No.", he replied and gave a short laugh. Then he became serious. "Jasmin trusts you, Anni. She..."

Then Domink shook his head. He couldn't and wouldn't say any more. The two young women had to sort out the rest themselves. He gave Anni an encouraging smile and left the room. Pensive and a little confused Anni stayed behind. What else had Dominik wanted to say?

Her phone beeped and jolted her out of her thoughts. She rummaged for it a bit and found it in her bed. Pia had sent her a whats-app message:

_"Everything okay with you?"_  
'No, it's not all okay.', Anni thought but replied with a "Sure, everything's fine. I'll be right out."

She put the phone in her pocket and ran her hands over her face. Finally she gave herself a yank and returned to the living room. Dominik was standing at John's side talking about the wedding. Pia and Nele were nibbling pasta, giggling around. Pia looked up and winked at her. Anni tried to smile but her eyes were drawn to Jasmin's door. She would have liked best to... 'No, damnit, you can't do anything right now. Let Dominik handle it.", she called herself to order. She took a deep breath, put on a smile and called out to the group:

"Okay, people, who's up for sushi?"

"But we made pasta."

"Yes, Nele, but I don't feel like pasta. Come on, let's go."

Anni handed Nele her jacket and picked up her own as Pia was already shoving John out the door. Right before Anni closed the door, she gave Dominik a grateful look. He just nooded back briefly.

* * *

As calm had settled, Dominik walked over to the door to Jasmin's room. Tentatively he knocked.

"Jasmin? It's me, Dominik. The others are gone. Can I come in?"

There was silence for a while. Dominik stood by the door and waited. Finally he heard a soft "Come in." and opened the door. He was surprised it wasn't locked. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. He looked around and found Jasmin sitting on the windowsill. She was staring out into the darkness.

"Hey."

"Hey."

Her voice sounded hoarse. Dominik didn't know if it was from crying or from hardly talking to anybody for days.

"How are you feeling?"

Jasmin remained silent. Then she looked at him and he could see the traces of her tears in her face, her eyes red and dry. There was a tiredness in her face that seemed to run deeper than a few sleepless nights.

"Empty. I feel totally empty. There's just nothing left."

Dominik walked over to her and took her in his arms. Reflexively she rested her head on his shoulder. They both kept silent for a few minutes until Jasmin said softly:

"Nik?"

"Hm?"

"I think I need help."

"Yes, I know."

"Good."

She closed her eyes and for the first time over the last few weeks she felt like she could sense light at the end of the tunnel.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Nervously Jasmin played around with her former therapist's card, still unsure if she should actually call her. The night before, talking with Dominik, everything had seemed so clear. But now she'd just slept through the night for the first time since Kurt had left her, and there was this voice whispering in her head:  
'Come on, Jasmin, you worked through all this already. What's your problem? That Kurt's gone? Do you really want to go through hell again? Because you know very well that's what it's gonna be, hell - Nowak, Katrin, the dirty feeling you won't be able to shake off. You don't have to go through it all all over again. What for? For your so-called friends who let you down when you need them the most? There's just no point.'  
Jasmin tossed the card onto the bed and pressed her hands to her ears. Like a mantra she kept repeating in her mind 'It's not true. They are there for me. Dominik's there for me. He was here all night. Dominik's my friend.'  
She looked back and forth between the card and her phone, but she couldn't bring herself to dial the number.

Finally she left her room to get some coffee. Lost in her thoughts, Jasmin walked towards the coffee machine, noticing neither Anni sitting at the table, drinking her coffee, nor that the coffee pot was still half full. Just as she was about to pour water into the pot, Anni said to her:

"You shouldn't water it down too much. It won't wake you up then."

Startled Jasmin turned around, almost dropping the coffee pot.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on, let me get this."

Quickly Anni got up, took the pot from her hands and put it on the kitchen counter. Jasmin felt her heart leaping to her throat and her hands trembling slightly. Swiftly she folded her arms to hide it. Anni looked at her, but Jasmin avoided her gaze.

"Are you okay?" Jasmin tried to smile, but couldn't. "You startled me, that's all." Her voice was shaking, and Anni raised her hands apologetically. "Hey, I live here."

Now a faint smile spread across Jasmin's face after all. Gradually she calmed down, even though Anni made her nervous. Almost subconsciously she wanted to step back, but Anni had poured her some coffee and handed her the cup. Slightly surprised Jasmin wrapped her hands around it.

"Thanks."

She took a sip and closed her eyes briefly as the warmth was flowing through her body. When she opened them again, Anni was still standing next to her. She looked at her roommate searchingly. Anni seemed more open than she'd been over the past few weeks. "Since when are you talking to me again?" Anni shrugged her shoulders, went back to the table and sat down. "Maybe I just wanted to be polite?" Jasmin looked at her, shaking her head. Anni gave her a slightly provokative smile and said in a feigned indifferent tone:

"Hey, if you don't like it, I can go back to the silent treatment."

For a moment there was a tense silence between them, then Jasmin put down her half-filled cup and turned to go back to her room. Just before she got to her door, she heard Anni say:

"Dominik told me about what happened last week."

Jasmin halted, but didn't turn back around to Anni. "I know." She gulped. Then she went on, her voice sounding hoarse: "Spare me your pity, okay?" and retreated to her room.

Stunned Anni gazed after her. This was not the reaction she had expected. She'd thought Jasmin would jump at the opportunity to be comforted. But then she thought back to Dominik's words from the previous night and how Jasmin had kept silent about the attempted rape for days now. Heavens, if it weren't for Dominik she still wouldn't know about it. Frustration rose up in her. 'Why can't she react the way you expect her to just for once? Why is 'unpredictability' her middle name? And why the hell does she accuse me of just pitying her?', Anni asked herself and remembered the words she had thrown in Jasmin's face months ago: "This woman doesn't need pity but a kick in the ass!" Determined to give her just that, she got up and walked over to Jasmin's door. She knocked briefly, but instead of waiting for an answer she just opened the door. Jasmin was standing in the middle of the room, half way turned to her, again looking alarmed. But Anni didn't care about that right then.

"It's not pity I feel for you, ok?", she said with barely suppressed anger in her voice.

When Jasmin just looked at her in silence, she felt her frustration subside. A bit helplessly she shrugged her shoulders and continued:

"Sympathy, yes, but not pity."

Anni was waiting for a response, but there was none. Jasmin seemed numb. Finally Anni asked the question that had been haunting her all night:

"Why didn't you say anything?"

The question brought Jasmin out of her rigor.

"What?"

"Why didn't you tell us what happened?"

Jasmin looked at her incredulously and whispered "You can't be serious, can you?" But then her voice became increasingly loud. "Why would I have done that? Only to hear that I made it up? Or that I'd provoked it myself?"

The shock of Jasmin's words hit Anni like a punch in the gut. Slowly she shook her head.

"You don't really believe that, do you? That even one of us would have said that."

Jasmin gave a bitter laugh and brushed a strand of her hair that had fallen into her face from her forehead before she looked Anni in the eye.

"Anni, yesterday you and Nele talked about how I probably just made up the "abuse story" to get attention."

Shame shot through Anni, and she looked at the floor. Tonelessly Jasmin went on:

"What's the difference anyway?" She raised her hands in a resigned gesture. "90 percent of the people out there who know I uploaded the video myself think I'm a slut who'd do anything to be mentioned in the page 10 gossip column. A made up or staged rape fits the picture perfectly."

Shaken Anni looked up, but Jasmin didn't even notice. It was as if she was talking to herself.

"And they're right. I have done anything to put myself back on the map. I sold my marriage. I lied to my mother and my friends." She shrugged her shoulders helplessly. "And now I have to live with the consequences. No job, no friends and guys on the street who think I am fair game."

The lump in Anni's throat almost choked her, and so softly it was barely audible she said:

"What those guys did wasn't your fault."

Jasmin looked at her, tears in her eyes. Her lower lip quivered as she replied:

"No, it's not, but how many people do you think see it that way?"

"Screw those people then." Anni's voice became more and more passionate. "I know better and you know better. And all those idiots don't matter to us."

Tears were streaming down Jasmin's face now, and Anni couldn't hold back anymore. So she did what she would have loved to do the previous night. She walked over to her and took Jasmin in her arms. She could feel the quiver running through Jasmin's body and swallowed her own tears. After a few minutes of just holding her, Anni felt Jasmin gradually relaxing and leaned back to look at her. She bit her lower lip. Even with cried out eyes and dark circles under them, she was simply beautiful. Carefully she stroked a wisp of hair away from her face and smiled faintly as Jasmin closed her eyes at the touch. One last tear rolled down Jasmin's cheek, and Anni couldn't help but brush it away. Before the temptation became too much, she stepped back.

"Better?" Jasmin blushed a little and coughed slightly. "Yes, thank you."

She twisted her fingers nervously and just couldn't keep them still. It raised a little grin from Anni. Jasmin was so cute when she did this. Jasmin's hands stopped as she noticed this, and she blushed again, which only made Anni's grin become even broader. Finally Jasmin took Anni's hand and looked her in the eye.

"Thank you." Anni could see the relief in Jasmin's eyes, the gratitude, and she shook her head. "No big deal", she dismissed it with a feigned light tone, but Jasmin softly encompassed her hand to emphasize her next words:

"It is, Anni. Thank you. I don't take it for granted."

Anni just shrugged her shoulders, and Jasmin took a deep breath before she went on. "I know I've said it over and over, but I really am sorry I lied to all of you. And I know I hurt you by it, and by being too cowardly to tell the truth when you gave me the chance. I'd give anything to undo it, but I can't, and I'm sorry." The tears she had fought back before welled up in Anni's eyes. But she didn't avert her gaze from Jasmin.

"I know you're sorry. I know you wish it had never happened. And I wish we could just continue where we left off, but we can't."

Jasmin bit her lip and lowered her head as Anni went on. "I trusted you. And I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust you again. But..." Jasmin looked up. "...I think we can try. Not to pick up where we left off, but to start over."  
A timid smile spread over Jasmin's face, and she nodded slightly. "Okay. A fresh start start. Sounds good." The tension between them made way for tentative joy. From outside they heard the door being opened.

_"Anni?"_ Nele called.

Anni looked at Jasmin and bashfully said "Um..I gotta go... Nele is set on making up for yesterday's pasta dinner." Now Jasmin couldn't help but grin, and she teased Anni "Spaghetti Bolognese à la Brehme, or did Nele snatch the cooking spoon?" Anni returned the grin and proclaimed proudly "She let me cut the onions."

She looked at their hands, still grasped together. Slowly she let go of Jasmin's hand and opened her mouth, but Jasmin beat her to it:

"It's okay. You two have fun."

"You could join us."

But Jasmin shook her head. "No, it's fine. I have things to do, and I don't want to embarrass Nele after the other night." Anni nodded. There was something else she needed to get off her chest, so she took Jasmin's hand once more and said:

"I'm sorry about yesterday. It was wrong and we didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's okay. I don't blame you."

Anni looked at her musingly. She wasn't sure why, but somehow it bothered her that Jasmin seemed to take it so lightly. Anni couldn't imagine that the issue was so easily sorted by her. But she wasn't sure if and how she should call Jasmin on it either, and then she heard Nele calling again and replied:

"I'll be right there, just a moment."

Jasmin let go of her and gave a little nod, and so Anni backed out towards the door.

"See you later then."

"Yes. And thanks again."

Anni opened the door and left the room. Through the closed door Jasmin heard Nele asking:

_"What were you doing in Jasmin's room?"_

_"I just wanted to get a CD of mine she still had."_

_"And where is it?"_

_"I couldn't find it."_

With a shake of her head and a little laugh about Anni's excuse, Jasmin turned around and her eyes fell on the card she had thrown onto the bed earlier. She looked at the closed door again, and a long-missed confidence spread through her. It was as if the conversation with Anni had taken a huge load off her shoulders. And maybe it really had, when she thought about how much Anni's cold disdain over the past weeks had affected her. Determined she took the card and her phone and walked up to the window. For a moment she watched the hustle on the street outside. People laughing, children playing, arguing and kissing couples. A vague longing got hold of her she couldn't quite pin down. Then she dialed the number.

_"Psychotherapy Jellinghaus, what can I do for you?"_

"Mrs. Jellinghaus, this is Jasmin Le..., Jasmin Flemming speaking. I don't know if you remember me. I was with you a couple of years ago, but my name was Nowak back then."

For a moment Jasmin could her the clicking sound of a keyboard. She waited.

_"Mrs. Nowak, your mother's trial. Yes, I remember. How can I help you?"_

Jasmin gulped. Then she said with a decicive voice "I need an appointment with you. If possible, this week."

_"Let me just check."_ Jasmin heard the therapist browsing her calendar. _"Would 4 p.m. on thursday be alright with you?"_

"Thank you, that's great. I'll be there. The day after tomorrow, 4 p.m.."

_"Good, I'll see you in two days then. If it should get more urgent, please give me a call."_

"Thank you for your help. I'll get back to you on that if necessary. Good bye."

_"Good bye, Ms. Flemming."_

Jasmin hang up. Her hands were trembling, but she finally felt like she was doing the right thing again. It was time she got her life back together.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

A soft murmur roused Anni from her sleep. Disoriented she groped for her alarm clock, but the murmur continued. Slowly she opened her eyes. There was no morning light shining through the window yet. She sat up and looked for her watch on her night stand. _2:39 a.m._ 'Damn!" Anni fell back into her pillows. She heard soft voices from the living room. 'The TV', Anni realized und wondered which one of her roommates could possibly still be sitting in front of the box at this hour. She coughed slightly and got up to get a glass of water from the fridge. Yawning, she ran her hand over her eyes on her way to the kitchen.

As she left her room, she saw a black&white movie playing on the TV, and her eyes fell unto the couch. She halted abruptly. Jasmin was lying on the couch, still in the t-shirt she had been wearing all day. A blanket was covering her halfway up her legs, and in her arms she held a pillow she was practically clinging to. Jasmin was sleeping peacefully. On tiptoe Anni walked over to the couch and bent over her to pull up the blanket. Jasmin didn't move, her breathing was slow and deep, and Anni sat down on the floor and looked at her. Jasmin's dark hair covered her face a little, and a wisp of hair moved with every breath. Long lashes fell over her eyes, but they couldn't disguise the almost bluish black circles beneath them. Anni reached out her hand and traced the contours of Jasmin's face with her index finger, careful not to actually touch her. She wanted to caress her, so much her fingers started trembling, but it wouldn't be right. Finally, Anni lowered her hand.

She spotted the remote on the table, picked it up and turned off the TV. She was wrapped in darkness now, and she stroked over the blanket once more and whispered:

"Sleep well".

Then she got up and returned to the fridge. Just as Anni had poured herself a glass of water and put back the bottle, she heard a soft whimpering coming from the couch. She turned around, but Jasmin hadn't moved, and it was quiet again. Anni returned to her room as silently as possible, but before she got to the door the whimpering started again, this time louder, and in between Anni could hear a stifled "No".

Quickly she put down her glass and neared the couch. Jasmin's forehead had creased up, and she was tossing around. Frantically clinging to the pillow, it looked as if Jasmin was trying to get away from an invisible assaulter, but the back of the couch left her no escape. "No, please don't" - the whimpering had turned into begging, and Anni was shocked when she realized what Jasmin was dreaming about. Carefully she drew closer to Jasmin and gently shook her shoulder.

"Jasmin?", she whispered. "Wake up, you're having a bad dream."

No alteration, Jasmin's motions only became more frantic. Anni gripped her shoulder tighter and tried to pull her out of her nightmare. Suddenly Jasmin flared up with a loud "Don't touch me!" and pushed her off so hard that Anni almost toppled over backwards over the armchair behind her. Just in time she braced herself and managed to keep her balance. Jasmin sat upright, her knees pulled up to her body, her eyes straying around the room, half glazed over, and Anni realized she was still caught in her horrid dreamworld. Quickly she walked around the table to approach her from the front, so she could see her.

"Jasmin?", Anni tried to keep her voice as normal as possible.

"Go away! Leave me alone!"

The panic in Jasmin's voice almost froze Anni. A slight despair got hold of her, and she tried to get through to Jasmin.

"Hey, it's me - Anni.", she reached out her hands and saw Jasmin looking at her. "Do you recognize me?" Anni kept standing about 3 feet from Jasmin and waited. Gradually Jasmin's eyes became clearer, and her breathing settled down as well. Anni kept still, she hardly dared to move for fear of frightening her again.

"Anni?", Jasmin asked, her voice quivering.

Relief flodded through Anni.

"Yes, it's me." She gave a little smile.

Jasmin tossed the pillow to the end of the couch and buried her face in her hands. Then she looked up. Anni was still standing a step away from her.

"What happened?", she asked softly.

"You had a nightmare. I tried to wake you up."

She drew closer to the couch and wanted to take Jasmin's hand, but she pulled away.

"Don't. Please don't touch me."

Startled Anni looked at her and lowered her hands. Jasmin seemed like a cornered animal, the utter panic still not completely gone from her eyes, and Anni had to gulp at the sight. She backed off again and frantically thought about what she should do. Hesitantly she asked:

"Do you..do you want to talk about it?"

A vehement head shake was the answer. Anni nodded.

"Okay. Okay." She needed a moment to compose herself. "Stay seated, I'll get you a glass of water."

Anni got up and went back to the fridge. She could feel Jasmin's eyes following her.

Rarely in her life had she felt this helpless, almost powerless. Usually she had no problem remaining level-headed, even in hairy situations, but Jasmin had always been the exception to this rule. For a moment, Anni leaned her head on the refrigerator door.

'Okay, Anni. Step by step. The most important thing now is for her to calm down. Everything else can wait until tomorrow.' She took a fresh glass from the cabinet and slowly poured in the water. On her way back to the couch she picked up her glass from before and sat down in the armchair next to the couch. Careful not to touch Jasmin, she passed Jasmin the water. Jasmin still sat in the corner of the couch, her legs pulled up to her chest. Her hands trembled slightly as she took the glass from Anni.

"Thanks", she said softly hastily took a gulp. She choked, and Anni quickly got up to pat her on the back, but Jasmin flinched and put our her hand as if in defense.

"It's okay, I'm okay." She put down the water and leaned back into the couch. For a moment Jasmin closed her eyes. Softly she began to speak:

"I couldn't sleep, so I watched a movie. And then I must have dozed off."

"I heard the TV", Anni replied. Quickly Jasmin looked up.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up. I'm sorry."

But Anni shook her head.

"It's okay."

Silence spread between them. Both were lost in their thoughts, unsure of what to do or explain. Finally, Jasmin continued:

"It helps me, you know?" Anni looked at her queringly, and Jasmin pointed at the TV. "The TV. It makes me feel like I'm not alone. That makes it easier."

And Anni comprehended what had triggered the nightmare. It was the silence. She gulped. Why had she turned off that stupid thing? She could have slapped herself at the thought. But then her thoughts moved on, and like a movie she saw the previous days before her inner eye, when Jasmin had hardly left her room. Suddenly a feeling of nausea came over her, and Anni took a sharp breath. Jasmin _had_ been alone, alone with her thoughts, alone with her memories, alone with... Hastily she raised her head and in a coarse voice she asked:

"How often?", but Jasmin didn't answer. "How many times have you had this nightmare, Jasmin?"

Jasmin kept silent, and she didn't look at Anni either. She looked to the side, her face hidden behind her hair, and Anni understood that her silent supposition had hit home.

'Every damn night.'

Anni got up, she just couldn't sit still anymore. She started pacing around the room, her thoughts spinning in her head, and she desperately tried to put them in some kind of order. Finally, she turned around to Jasmin, raised her hands and said:

"I don't get it."

Jasmin looked at her numbly. She was still in the clutches of the nightmare that had haunted her all week, und suddenly she felt cold. She started to tremble slightly and could only hear Anni as if through a wall of cotton wool now. Her words wafted past Jasmin, without actually reaching her. Anni's voice became louder.

"You almost get raped, you have nightmares, you don't sleep, you barely eat, and you won't get help."

Anni stopped her pacing and waited for an answer. It was only after a few moments that she realized Jasmin had barely heard anything she'd said. In her upset, she hadn't noticed that Jasmin was heading towards a panick attack. Her breathing had already become irregular, and she withdrew into herself, which only made it worse.

"Shit." Anni looked around. 'A bag, I need a paper bag.' She looked around frantically and her gaze fell unto the baker's paper bag from the day before. "Ayla, you're a gem", Anni mumbled, grabbed the bag, tipped out the last roll on the table and quickly returned to the couch. By now Jasmin was trembling all over her body and tears welled in her eyes. Anni got behind the couch and held Jasmin's arms firmly to her upper body so she couldn't lash out. She bit her lip as she felt Jasmin fighting her grasp with all her strength, but she didn't let go. After a silent struggle, that felt like an eternity to them both, from one moment to the next, Jasmin collapsed into herself, and Anni could press the paper bag to her mouth and her nose. She loosened her grip, gently stroked her hair and whispered:

"In and out. In and out. Very slowly. Shhh."

Anni closed her eyes and felt Jasmin relaxing more and more every minute. Anni heaved a sigh of relief. Finally, she felt Jasmin's hand reaching for her arm and pulling away the paper bag. Exhausted, Jasmin leaned back, and her head landed on Anni's shoulder. Anni froze, and for a moment she barely dared to breathe. After a couple of minutes, she opened her eyes and looked at Jasmin. Half dried up traces of tears showed on her face, and she had closed her eyes. It almost seemed as if she had fallen asleep again. But when Anni wanted to lay her back down on the couch, Jasmin reached for her hand and whispered:

"Stay."

So Anni stayed perched behind the couch, Jasmin halfway in her arms, feeling herself relax a little as well. But after a while her legs and her arms started to hurt, so she said softly:

"Jasmin?"

"Hm?"

"My legs are falling asleep."

Slowly Jasmin blinked and opened her eyes. Anni gulped and thought dryly: 'I guess that's what you call bedroom eyes.' She felt slight arousal building up inside herself and tried to push this feeling away again. This really wasn't the right time for that.

Jasmin lifted her head and took a closer look at Anni. A slight blush had spread over her roommate's face. 'Cute', it shot through her head before she could even grasp the thought. Self-consciousness came over her.

"Oh", she mumbled, quickly disentangled her legs and got up from the couch. Slowly Anni stood up as well, shaking out her arms and legs. They avoided looking at each other, too unsure of how to rate the situation. Nervously Jasmin reached for her glass of water and took a gulp. Then she turned around to Anni and pointed in the direction of her room,

"I... I think I'll go to sleep now."

Anni just stood riveted to the spot and nodded slightly. She followed Jasmin with her eyes until the door closed with a soft click. Then she ran both her hands over her face. She looked at the clock. _3:57 a.m._ Anni grimaced. It had felt much longer, and she was dead tired. But she knew there was no way she would catch any sleep this night. She turned around and went back to her room. Then she took her guitar and her headphones and quietly began to play. she could only hope Jasmin would get some rest for the remainder of the night. Anni admitted to herself that she would have loved nothing better than to watch over Jasmin's sleep until the morning light, but this dream would probably always remain unfulfilled.


End file.
